Friendship. What is it? It's difficult to put an exact definition on it. It's elusive in the mind, because of what it is. Here's how the Oxford English Dictionary defines friendship: http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/74661?redirectedFrom=friendship# to go along with that here's how they define friend [n] (because it's in the definition of friendship almost every time): http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/74646?rskey=NxZ5NY&result=1&isAdvanced=false#.
It's funny there are so many ways that you could put this. To me, for example, a friend is some one who you spend time with (on a regular basis), they're someone you have to, on occasion, have an experience that has an impact on your life. They have to be someone you can be intimate with and have no trouble feeling vulnerable with. They're someone who invites you to go out and have fun, and help you when you're down. I've also had friends that I've spent little time with, but still managed to have many moments that have significantly impacted my life and I wouldn't trade for the world. I may not know these people as well as I'd like, but I feel that I know them well enough.
Other people may feel differently, and give friendship a different meaning. Many people vary on who they give the labels friends, acquaintance, and stranger. They're interchangeable between different people. It's about individuality and subjectivity.
I believe deciding who is a friend is a very subjective process. Although dictionaries may have a certain definition that doesn't mean it's the set definition, and thus makes it difficult. Also friends in different countries and cultures changes things.
I thought of this when I recently had problems with 'friends.' Really they're a clique. I didn't fit in, and they would gang up on me from time to time. I've learned my lesson: if you don't fit in, get out. They wouldn't invite me to things even after expressing that I wanted to spend time with them. I thought including people in things and spending time with them was something friends do. I guess they see friendship in a different light. However, this was and is (somewhat) an unhealthy relationship I seem to be having. They're very nice and caring at times but I am constantly getting the feeling that they don't want me around. They see me more as the older (only a year or two) person who happens to be there. I have other friends who I've known for years, but up until recently this year I have been basically ignoring. I feared that I had alienated them. My ignoring them is mostly due to drama that would be caused, but after being in this other circle of friends I've learned to appreciate the ones I have. Some of these people, you could argue, I don't know very well, but is that what makes them a friend?
In the end I can summarize it in a literary way, that the concept of friendship is left up to the individual interpretation of the person who is concerned with the labeling of people around them. It's all subjective just like interpreting literature is (mostly fiction, poetry and creative nonfiction). Both the person as an individual and the group or societal interpretation hold up. So, not only is it subjective to the individual but there are set rules and definitions set up by society. They differ between cultures. So, what does this mean? Is this saying that friendship is both subjective and objective? I'm not sure. I'll have to get back to you.
Much love my 'friends,'
Nathan
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