Tired? Long day? Join the club. (In 2 Parts)

Part I: The Complaint (the second part is less complainy)

I've found that you can never know how exhausted you can get until you're there. Honestly, I thought today wouldn't be too bad. In fact, I thought it might even be relaxing. Can you believe that? I know that I can't, not anymore. I started my day with the alarm on my phone buzzing in my ear at 7 a.m. To say I was reluctant to rise would be an understatement. I felt like lying around for the rest of the day. You have to admit that at some point a bed and sheets become so comfortable that it feels as if leaving them would be, dare I say, sinful. I don't think I need to explain, but getting up was a battle of wills that I don't always win. Of course, any forms of grogginess were completely defeated by my early morning workout, which isn't all that routine due to the whole "gotta keep your body guessing" thing. I then went and had breakfast, giving in at one point to the temptation of a slice of bacon.

After that I met with someone who had a friend's things, this friend in question had to return to China and has entrusted me with his belongings that he had to leave behind in the hopes that I might one day return them, and of course the meeting was a total flop. The objects in question were forgotten, and that didn't surprise me as much as left me disappointed, because I'm not entirely sure what he left here. This was followed by a return to the dorm, a shower, a checking of email, and a stroll down to lunch. I ate alone. That's fine as long as I have something to think about, and I usually always do.

Once this is completed I venture down to a building that few seem to go into except the rarely seen art majors, in order to go to my ceramics class. There, I work on throwing clay and a slab project involving the use of engobe slip (it's like watered down, colored clay that you can use as a paint to put color on your clay that isn't a glaze) for over three hours.

Once I left this site, I went back to my room and had the wonderful idea to take a nap. Little did I know (I know, ominous, right?) this "nap" would lead to me feeling even more drained of energy than before. Does this ever happen to you? Does your body suddenly realize that you're allowing it to rest and takes this time to remind you of the ridiculous amount of sleep debt that you've built up over the years? I think that's what happened. Anyway, I continue with whatever work I have after a brief dinner, all the while lying in bed because the energy just isn't there. I arise to meet someone for a research meeting on the film, "Lawrence of Arabia," of which I've actually already done a lot of. In order to ready myself for this get together, I decided to buy some coffee, but as I write these words, it doesn't seem to have any effect whatsoever. Bummer. On a bright-ish note, they did push the meeting up an hour so that I can wait even longer... LIFE!!!

Part II: Something other than Complaining

To be fair, because I'm so tired at the moment, I know that I'll sleep well. And who knows?! Maybe I'll have a fun and interesting dream that I'll be able to share with other people and/or this blog! I'm worried about my ability to get this research done, but I have the utmost confidence that this coffee will eventually kick in and allow me to kick ass AND take names (I hope).

On another note, my life's not bad, and there are far worse things to be doing research on than one of the best Epic movies of all time. OF ALL TIME! I do think that this experience will help me to better appreciate the times in my life where I actually get a chance to rest and relax and take things at a slower (more reasonable) pace. At 23 years of age, I don't think that will necessarily be happening any time soon, but it is something that I have a tendency to look forward to.

A part of me is lazy by nature but another part of me wants to always go at 110% all the time even though I know that that's mathematically impossible (AND I HATE MATH!!). I'm filled with contradictions much like this post may or may not seem to you, the reader. Currently, I'm going to try my best... to try my best, and hope that that gets me somewhere nice and appreciable.

Until next time...

Much love,

Nathan

What A Day!

I can't say that today was a total waste or anything really negative like that. What I can tell you is that even more things have happened. One of these "things," is the ultimate knowledge of my standings with the Graduate School Programs that I applied to. Out of eight of the schools that I applied to, I have gotten into three. Now, this may not seem like a lot, and if you look at the amount of schools I got into while applying for undergrad, you might be right (I got into eleven out of eleven), but for grad programs, particularly an MFA in Creative Nonfiction (or writing in general) that's pretty bad-ass (or so I've been told). According to Tom Kealey's helpful guide book, "The Creative Writing MFA Handbook: A Guide for Prospective Students," I haven't done too badly.

Why didn't I apply to more places? That's a good question (Me). Since Kealey says that someone looking to get into an MFA program should apply to 8-11 programs, I decided to go with the bare minimum, like Jennifer Aniston's character, Joanna, did with the pieces of flare at her work in the movie, "Office Space." This isn't because I necessarily had certain schools that I wanted to attend, but rather mostly due to funding. As both a student AND a writer, I'm (probably) not going to be blessed with the greatest of financial circumstances and spending roughly $400 dollars on eight schools is a small fortune to me. I'm not saying, in any way to anyone else, that you should go with the very minimum or even that you should have a minimum of eight (I'm sure you could do less, but your chances would be diminished), but that money is a huge deciding factor.

Money may be the reason why I haven't made a decision yet (as I clearly have a decision to make). I have yet to receive anything resembling financial aid packages, and I greatly desire to have assistance in this area. Help for this would be greatly appreciated. In fact, I don't know how I could adequately show my appreciation except maybe dedicate a book or work of some sort to my (hypothetical) benefactor.

In the long run, I'm not sure if this matters or if I'm just thinking about things that will inevitably have little consequence. Truly, the program I choose will most likely determine a good majority of my future, and frankly, that scares the hell out of me. I'm not sure what to do except don a smile and keep on being (acting) happy. I'm not feigning joy, don't get me wrong, but I am beginning to have realizations about my current circumstances and where my decisions will lead me. I would like to know where I'm going, but, in Life, the path is often unlit and any metaphorical torch we're carrying only allows us a fraction of discernible foresight (or something like that). Unfortunately, I think I'm turning into a calculating realist (Or is that a pessimist? I can never tell!).

I will say this: Wherever life takes me, so far, it's been a very interesting ride. Until next time, stay amazing.

Yours,

Nathan

P.S. When throwing clay, whether that be a pot or what have you, make sure you aren't wearing shorts or, at the very least, have something to protect your legs, because clay water is very cold.

Long Time No See

It's been quite some time since I last used this blog. This is partly because I had completely forgotten the username and password to it. Silly, I know, but these things happen to those who have recently developed a bad habit of being absent minded. I try not to be, but these things happen.

Anyway, life is great. So far, I've already been accepted to two graduate programs for MFA in Creative Nonfiction. One of them is Creative Writing and Publishing Arts. I've received three rejection letters, and I'm ok with that. I still have two more to hear back from, but I'm feeling pretty good about the whole thing. It looks like I'll have a future or something like that.

Now, it's time for me to write the next Great American Novel or Collection of Essays or Memoir or something. I'm not sure. I have no idea what will happen next, and I think that's what makes life BRILLIANT!

There was a time when I would have laughed at anyone who would have said anything like I did in my last paragraph. I think that everyone should have or create a positive outlook of some sort at some time in their lives. Good news of this magnitude happened to be just what I needed to inspire a little optimism or something like that.

It's still my motto that: "I will always try something once, within reason." I plan on having countless many more experiences and adventures, and I hope that I can share them with anyone willing to read this.

Thank you and have a wonderful day,

Nathan